well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
