i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
