we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
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Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
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THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
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