Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
