over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
