We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Randomize
