If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
