My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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