I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
