I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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