I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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