Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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