btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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