i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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