Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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