i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He better not be in your backpack
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
