i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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