Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
