I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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