Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
