her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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