I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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