Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize