I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
