Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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