When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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