think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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