Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
