you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
