Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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