do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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