I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
