then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
