Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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