There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
