i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
