You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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