Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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