I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
