She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
