My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
