So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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