YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
