i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
