I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
