he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
