Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
