that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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