Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
