Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
