dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
