why didn't you poke me back
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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