i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
