If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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