I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize