god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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