If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
you will always have a special place in my vag
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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