How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
