HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
