How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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