I can't watch pbs sober anymore
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
