it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
